Children like things to be fair, a couple of years ago I began telling Nathaniel that ‘life isn’t fair.” He would reply back, “that isn’t a word”. The last few hours I have thought about that, what did his little mind mean? Because at this time, I catch myself thinking about the fairness of life, life isn’t fair and I am glad. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through the pain we are now feeling, but I wouldn’t want to not have had Katelynn—if life were fair, there would be so much pain we could all avoid but also so much joy. And Katelynn is joy, and having had her will bring us more joy than the pain we now feel. She will always be a part of our family. We want this to be a good experience for Nathaniel and Ailsa although it is deeply painful, they have given so much to Katelynn. Children are quick to love and they too loved her before she was born. I talked to a child grief councilor; he says the kids are doing well. We have planned a special day; first. we are taking the kids to the temple open house. There we can show them a piece of heaven, we are a family forever and Katelynn will always watch over us. Then we head to the hospital to spend the rest of the day as a family, all five of us. We will be in a hospice room off of the NICU. Nathaniel wants Katelynn to see the movie ‘Bolt” and Ailsa wants to hold Katelynn. The nurse will place Katelynn’s mat on the floor that will be surrounded by mats for us—we can pretend we are at home on the bed, just having something normal. For those who would like to meet Katelynn, that time will be Sunday morning. Nathan and I will spend the night at the hospital, and when we are ready Katelynn will return to her Father in Heaven.

We will post the funeral information once we decide-- it will probably be friday or saturday. First we are just a family of five laying around together enjoying a typical saturday...